1. Why did Sauron hire you?
Because I have dashing good looks.
They were short on chefs in the Mordor cafeteria.
Duh, I'm like, totally gnarly at riding horses and stuff.
Because I won a life-time supply of Visine, which will help him get rid of that itchy, burning sensation in his Eye.
I'm really not quite sure.
Because I was the valedictorian of my class at the Academy.
Because I'm scary beyond all reason.
Because I'm the best at what I do.
Because I was the only tenor who applied for Sauron's Theme Song Choir.
Well actually, he didn't hire me, I just kind of tagged along.
2. When you scream, what are you really saying?
Nyah nyah, you can't kill me!
It's like I'm talking to a monkey! A really big, stupid monkey named Ringwraith #5!
AAAAAAH! MY HEAD'S ON FIRE!!
How come I don't get to lead the Flying V?
The peasant! At the diner! He forgot to pay his bill!
I WANT TO MOLEST FRODO!
La la la- wait.
These valardamned hoods make it so hard to see!
Like, Frodo! My homie hobbit! Sauron wants his bling-bling back!
I want the fat one on the left.
3. Why are you inept at catching Frodo?
I have inept superiors.
Now you tell me I was supposed to be catching Frodo!
Are you kidding? That fence is hand-carved mahogany!
The itsy bitsy Frodo climbed up the Weathertop...
It's not my fault he runs away scared. I said, Sauron, let's get new costumes this age.
I was trying to sing him a love song. Maybe I overdid it.
And I was like "Whoa!" And Frodo was like "Whoa!" And I was like "Whoooa."
I have inept underlings.
After I lathered him with butter, he just slipped through my fingers.
I expected somebody taller, so I missed him completely.
4. What is your horse's name?
Placido
Emeril
This is My Horse
Hindsight
Squeaken
Better Than You
Horsey
Black Beauty
Bob Marley
What horse?
5. Aren't you glad you get a second shot in The Two Towers?
Yeah, I was pretty stoked about our big comeback, dude.
Sauron finally realized that horses are so Second Age.
What? I never left!
Actually, it's a shame. Especially after that nice eulogy...
I don't like to think of it as "defeat." I think of it as "intermission."
I hate it when they "hide" under bushes, because I can't see them.
*laughs evilly like that French guy from The Little Mermaid*
If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. Even if that means doing it again.
Another chance to prove myself! If only I'd get a little more screen time...
Again! Again!
Code stolen from my TTT quiz which stole from the Resolution quiz.